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human freedom and the good life
Achieving personal freedom
and the good life by means of alternative holistic approaches:
the theory and practice of natural psychotherapy, counseling and coaching
1 A
natural approach and natural way
2 Deceptive help of
drugs
3 Long-term solutions
4
The "mind" and "body"- a totally holistic approach
5
A natural
therapy of "crazy" behavior
6
"Psychiatric symptoms"
as psychosocial signals
7
A natural approach to physical manifestations
8
The place of drugs in natural psychotherapy
9
Human rights, human dignity
and a crime against humanity
10
The
goals of each natural therapy session
11
The role of dialogue in natural psychotherapy
12
Why resolution of underlying problems is important
13
A
simplifying, healthy, global approach to a better life
14
The Core Conflict
15 Understanding
deception
16
Natural psychotherapy as a gentle and gradual process
17 Important self-discoveries
18 Practical
pursuits and results
1.
A natural APPROACH AND NATURAL WAY
The ways and approaches of natural
psychotherapy fully follow a holistic bio-psycho-social and psycho-ecological model.
Natural therapy completely has freed itself from the reductionist, drug-obsessed psychiatric model.
In natural therapy's approach psychological
disturbances and suffering are not regarded as medical illnesses.
All psychological distress is seen as
resulting from fully natural and psychologically understandable problems in living.
And, most importantly, the methods of natural
psychotherapy aim to understand the whole psycho-social and spiritual
context that causes one's problems and suffering.
Once one understands what the
biosocial causes of one's suffering and problems are, one
can learn how to solve the problems
and eliminate the suffering in completely positive and natural ways.
What specifically are these natural ways?
First, persons seeking help are taught
specifically how to navigate the difficult transitional states that are
labeled "mental illnesses."
They learn new positive perspectives
and the most effective methods of problem solving.
And then, each person learns how to make
specific and general constructive changes to attain and maintain the
freedom to have more authentic, responsible, loving, fulfilling and happier ways of life. And this is accomplished by considering, in
depth, each individual's uniqueness and distinctive goals in life.
One learns how to become aware and clear about one's goals in one's
relationships, in one's career and work, and in one's
relationships to others,
one's society and in one's ways of relating to the natural world.
And once one is
clear about one's choices of goals - on a daily basis - one becomes able work out the specific
ways to attain these goals, and then specific ways to maintain them.
Natural therapy achieves such
goal clarification and goal enactment and through
the specific use of a variety of consciousness-raising, psychosocial, humanistic and
holistic ways that integrate cognitive,
relational, psychodynamic, gestalt and Zen Buddhist ideas.
All these approaches help with the
realization of one's freedom and the attainment of the good life - for
oneself, one's loved ones, other human beings, one's society, and always
also one's environment and the natural world.
How?
The eclectic ways of natural therapy
accomplish this by means of natural and creative common sense
conversation and brain-storming.
And such positive and productive conversation is made
possible because of every person's ever-present (though too often
hidden) bio-social resilience, creativity and inner natural strengths.
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2. Deceptive Help of Drugs
Natural psychotherapy discourages the use of mind altering drugs,
because the "help" they appear to give is deceptive.
Drugs can in fact be quite damaging
because they mask the transitional signals for change which always accompany self-destructive
behavior - the so-called, "symptoms" of a so-called "mental disease."
Interestingly, these "symptoms" are all also part of one's creative attempts
to rid oneself of long-standing self-destructive habits.
Furthermore, such deceptive "help" of
drugs fosters the
current psychiatrically fostered mass delusion that the pain and emotional agony accompanying a
realistically bad life situation ( i.e., a symptom) is a "medical disease."
What a "psychiatric symptom" really is, is an
emotionally charged psycho-social reaction and response to a radically
damaging and disturbing situation. And often a psychological symptom also is
a response to one's own ineffective,
self-defeating, and desperate ways of dealing with that bad situations.
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3. Long-Term Solutions
Rather than relying on "a quick fix" with
drugs, natural psychotherapy focuses on learning how to evaluate and then make
positive choices that lead to constructive and satisfying long-term solutions.
These solutions can be attained because people
discover that they can learn not only how to become aware of their freedom
but also how to actually exercise their freedom.
For example, one learns how to choose to replace regret and blame of
oneself and others with focused constructive planning and actions.
One learns how to
become practical and how to deal effectively with one's everyday difficulties
of life, as well as with life's cruelties, misfortunes and disasters - past
and present.
And also, one learns to recognize and understand the
reasons one may have for falling for deceptions by oneself and by others.
And then, one learns how to take personal and
active responsibility for one's future: one learns how to avoid physical as well as psychological toxic patterns in
oneself, in others, and in one's environment.
In other words, in natural psychotherapy
people learn how to enhance their natural resilience and how to give up
being wreckers of their lives and become builders instead!
This generally requires the
following:
(1) that you have learned how to discover and actually
get to know yourself so that you can actually be yourself and
simultaneously have good relationships
(2) that your family, social group and society are not able to block
your freedom
(3) that
you have learned how to eliminate your own self-defeating habit
patterns that may actually block your freedom and
(4) that you have
acquired and practice a life-style that enhances well-being.
BECOMING ONE'S TRUE
SELF:
Each human being, from early infancy
on, is happiest when free to express her or
his natural and spiritual true self
creatively in an atmosphere of good,
supportive and non-toxic relations.
Then, and only then, can a person be
relatively free of the anger,
anxiety, depression, panic, harmful
behaviors, psychosomatic illnesses and
distress caused by the deep frustration of not being one's
authentic independent self.
BECOMING CARING AND COMPASSIONATE:
In fact, only when one is able to express one's natural spiritual
self is it possible to develop self-respect and be truly
compassionate and caring for oneself and for others.
That is why personal natural therapy
- the process of becoming a person - is so important.
Freeing one's natural self as well as
creating and attaining the kind of self one values and
cherishes is
an important accompaniment to the other
modes of natural therapy.
UNLEARNING DESTRUCTIVE HABITS AND
BECOMING THE SELF YOU VALUE:
To become the self one values,
requires awareness of what one's short-term and long-terms goals (e.g. relationship, spiritual,
health and career goals)
are.
And once you
have that awareness, you can learn how to
achieve these goals. And then comes the most significant part:
actually putting into practice being yourself - on a regular
daily basis.
Personal, individual natural therapy
increases the benefits you can get from natural couples therapy,
marriage counseling, pre-marital counseling, sex therapy, family
therapy, career counseling etc.
Individual, personal natural therapy, especially helps with harmonizing issues dealing with
the integration of work life and family life.
Harmonizing and integrating your
work and family life is important no matter what kind of work you
do. It is important whether you are an employee, employer, entrepreneur, professional,
executive, high-level executive, CEO, artist, writer, performer,
scientist or in the world of finance, law, administration,
government, politics etc.
Some of the personal habits that
invariably interfere with anyone's self-growth, self-respect, general
relationships and especially with couples, marital and family
relations are: being rigid or impulsive, negative, bossy,
uncommunicative, inconsiderate, unkind, unloving, withdrawing,
blaming, guilt-arousing, passive-aggressive or given to outbursts of
temper.
Natural therapy's practical, freeing, and self-empowering
ways are especially of value in helping people unlearn such learned
negative habits.
Natural therapy is especially useful in dealing with
cross-cultural,
racial, religious and multicultural issues that may interfere with harmonious
interpersonal relations.
Developing a free, creative and
calmer self is facilitated by the use of Natural Psychotherapy's
Core Awareness Approach.
And what are the approaches of becoming aware
of one's Core?
They involve becoming aware of one's uniqueness
and creativity: reaching awareness of the universality of adversity; awareness of
one's own and others' wants, desires, goals as well as of one's and
others' limitations, imperfections and lacks; awareness of
the principles of non-importance, context, reciprocity and effect;
awareness of principles of least effort and wu wei; awareness of the reasons
why love, caring, kindness, compassion and moral depth are essential for well-being).
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4.
The
"Mind" and "Body"
- A Totally Holistic Approach
Natural psychotherapy conceives of the
mind-body relation as a holistic unit. This is based on clinical and
empirical observations that the body influences the mind and that the mind
influences the body.
In fact, it is logically more correct to
say that mind-body relations are not two processes influencing
each other, but are one unitary complex process manifesting itself through the physical
or through the mental by means of constant transfer of "information."
Thus what we call physical or mental are our perceptions from these two
views. These are two perspectives, two viewpoints of a unitary,
holistic, single very complex interactive process - human life.
And each human life
is regarded as thoroughly interactive; it is influenced by, and influences, one's whole bio-psycho-social,
spiritual and
environmental situation. One becomes ecologically aware and responsible.
It is therefore always important for the
natural psychotherapist to be knowledgeable about the workings of the
complexities of mind, body and one's natural environment. It is thus as important to know psychology, sociology,
ecology, history, the
humanities and
the "social sciences" in general, as it is to know physiology, neuro-anatomy,
neurochemistry, genetics, and the "biological sciences" in general.
Having a generalist background is what makes it possible for the natural
psychotherapist, to be able to evaluate the extensive research and clinical
literature.
As a result of this generalist viewpoint, the various functional psychological and spiritual conditions
labeled "mental illnesses" can be viewed not narrowly as biological diseases, but
broadly as
natural bio-psycho-social reactions - often automatic and self-defeating - to
oppressive, repressive, perplexing, confusing and stressful life situations.
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5.
A Natural Therapy of "Crazy"
Behavior
Self-defeating, highly emotional outbursts and
extreme reactions to
stress - often characterized by panic, despair, confusion, emotional turmoil and anger
or rage filled temper outbursts - result in
disordered, unhappy lives.
Though such natural reactions may appear "strange,"
"bizarre" or
"crazy," it is important to keep in mind, that once they are talked about and
examined in a calm, gentle, compassionate and clear manner during natural
psychotherapy, their cryptic, symbolic meanings can be understood.
The "crazy"
ways cease to feel overwhelming and impossible to change.
So called "insanity" doesn't seem mysterious anymore.
Instead,
the "crazy" and socially unacceptable ways people behave at times are seen to
have understandable causes. And the resulting physiological and psychological upheavals are
seen as perfectly understandable results of the interpersonal relations that lead to
emotional suffering and distress, but that can
change for the better.
Positive change resulting form a natural
therapy approach can sometimes be achieved quickly, but can also take
months or years.
People are only able to give up "madness"
and self-destructiveness if
they feel safe enough and strong enough to look at completely new perspectives.
And they can do that if they are willing to examine new cognitive and emotional ways to handle their fears,
confusion, terrors, despair, and false
feelings of hopelessness and false ideas of powerlessness about themselves.
Similarly, they need to examine and learn how to give up their negative
feelings and ideas about others, their situation and the natural environment.
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6. "Symptoms" as psychosocial and spiritual signals
In natural psychotherapy all "mental symptoms"
are considered transitional alerting reactions that something is amiss -
personally, socially or ecologically.
"Symptoms" are always seen as
necessary signals that one needs to become aware that
something harmful in one's life needs attention - needs to be looked at objectively and
critically.
Symptoms can then be used constructively as one
finally learns through natural psychotherapy how to make the
practical positive changes in one's way of life: in one's relationships
and in one's natural environment that one has not known how to make in the
past.
One learns that positive changes are necessary
to get rid one's emotional suffering, turmoil and inner darkness.
Furthermore, through natural psychotherapy one
can learn specifically how one's "symptoms" (whether frightening,
angry, depressing or confused feelings, thoughts or fantasies) are really imaginative and poetic expressions of, and
metaphors
for one's mental and spiritual anguish, as well as one's predicaments and
quandaries in life.
This means that although
the "psychological symptoms" are creative achievements that
may help one survive,
they are also often grossly self-defeating and require transformation
into creative self-enhancing patterns of daily living.
Once understood in a natural, non-pathologizing
way, all symptoms can then serve as signals that an oppressive or
self-oppressing situation, as well as unresolved unconscious psychological conflicts
exist.
Symptoms serve as wake-up calls.
Symptoms exist for the achievement of
healthier adaptation to reality: to help you become awake and aware
that you need to make the choice to start productive changes in
yourself and in your interrelations with others and in your interaction with
your environment.
Thus, thanks to symptoms,
your friendships, love relationships, family, work, educational or other
significant relations and ecological situations get to be calmly and carefully explored,
and steadily improved, through natural
psychotherapy.
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7.
A Natural Approach to Physical Manifestations
Even physical manifestations caused by infection,
trauma, tumors, chemicals and toxic substances, drug use or drug withdrawal, immune disorders, etc. must be examined in terms of one's
physical environment, one's life style, mores, socio-economic circumstances,
beliefs, values and goals in life.
Thus, all physical manifestations, in
addition to being medically treated, are always also explored in natural
psychotherapy in terms of psycho-social and ecological factors.
During the process of natural psychotherapy it
is kept in mind that whenever people live under extreme stress, are exposed to
severe trauma, or live inauthentic and unfulfilled lives they may become
dissociated from their real desires, strivings and natural psychological,
physiological and ecological balances.
When imbalances
happen, many people develop a variety of psychological and physiological
symptoms and emotionally intense, self-defeating, reactions and views. These intense
emotional reactions, then naturally cause a large variety of physiological,
neurological, neuro-skeletal, neuro-muscular and biochemical imbalances and
impairments.
Obviously, this view is broadly bio-psycho-social.
It recognizes the obvious: that human beings have an infinite variety of
thoughts and often very powerful emotions that symbolically express their
wide and differing experiences in life.
And this sharply
contrasts with the narrow, dehumanizing, mechanical and reductionist view of modern biological
psychiatry.
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8.
The Place of Drugs in Natural Psychotherapy
If someone wishes
to use drugs for analgesic, recreational, or other purposes, that is a choice each
individual needs to make.
In natural therapy it is made clear, however,
that being drugged, drunk, and "chemically calm" or "chemically happy"
will diminish
the benefits of natural psychotherapy, or any psychotherapy for that matter.
It is therefore generally more practical
not to take drugs while in psychotherapy. But that is something
that has to be carefully evaluated in each individual situation, jointly by
the natural therapist, the person seeking help, and if called for, in
consultation with other family members and professionals involved as
consultants or as members of a treating team. And throughout this process, each
person's natural resilience
and unique strengths and weaknesses are carefully considered while generalizations are
assiduously avoided.
But, above all, in a therapeutic approach no one should ever be
directly or indirectly coerced, unduly influenced and urged or propagandized
to take drugs one does not want to take.
If people behave violently,
destructively or are a danger to themselves or others, natural therapy may
not be possible and the usual law enforcement procedures may be required to
deal with the actual law breaking actions.
9. Human Rights, Human Dignity
and a crime against humanity
In all situations, careful consideration is
given to the person's human rights, immediate and long-term welfare, health
and safety.
Also, unless not possible, (as in a comatose person) all
assessments and decisions, especially if the use of drugs is considered, are
made jointly by the natural therapist, the person seeking
psychotherapy, and others who may be involved in the therapeutic process,
whether family or other professionals.
But in no circumstances is anyone ever
cajoled, urged, tricked, inveigled or forced into taking drugs against
her or his own free will in the practice of natural therapy.
The natural therapist always aims for total
disclosure, for careful and considered evaluation of any method
considered.
The consistent emphasis in natural therapy is
on making available all the positive and negative effects of all procedures
offered, so that they can be slowly, carefully and critically studied and
evaluated.
Each individual's wishes, wholeness as a
human being, freedom to choose how to live, and human and civil rights are always respected
and never violated in natural psychotherapy.
Thus, all physically invasive or assaultive "psychiatric treatments" such as lobotomies,
body implants, electroshock, or forced psychiatric drugging for any of the so-called "psychiatric
disorders," are always shunned. In fact, they are all opposed
and regarded as serious violations of human rights.
Any coerced, involuntary
psychiatric hospitalization is opposed as part of natural therapy. Such a violation of human rights is
always unacceptable as part of therapy since it too often results
in inhumane, damaging or
cruel acts.
In fact coerced psychiatric hospitalization is regarded as a crime against humanity
if it masquerades as therapy.
On the other hand, if a person refuses
psychotherapy and exhibits dangerous, violent, law-breaking behaviors one must
of course always use the law enforcement procedures that are legally
available for the prevention such harm or potential harm.
However, in sharp contrast to a coercive psychiatrist,
a
natural psychotherapist is always someone
who first fosters respect for each person's uniqueness, human rights, creativity, resilience and
inner capacities to heal. That of course is impossible if a person who
is violent and engages in dangerous acts is referred for psychotherapy by family
or others, and absolutely refuses it.
Thus the natural therapist only resorts to
legal coercion and the use of existing police powers of the State if the person refuses
therapy and engages in or threatens to engage in harmful and destructive
acts.
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10.
The Goals of Each Natural Therapy Session
Every therapy session aims to demonstrate the
fact that human beings have the natural creativity and resilience
to freely choose how they desire to live.
In natural therapy they learn how they can
become free to live in a
way that makes sense to them.
People learn that they are truly able to solve
even very difficult emotional problems and dilemmas through open, creative,
collaborative and
constructive dialogue.
Most people who
suffer emotional anguish often have no idea what collaborative and creative
dialogue is. Some have mostly made unilateral or impulsive decisions and have
difficulty being committed to a totally honest, frank and natural ongoing relationship.
* * *
They often don't realize (and need to
learn) that in a good relationship,
difference of
opinion, even if sharp, is always the beginning of conversation, never the
end.
Easy and relaxed discussion of differences
opinion, perceptions, values, goals, etc. is especially true of collaborative psychotherapeutic dialogue. And necessary
for therapeutic progress.
* * *
Each psychotherapy session aims to be a
creative search for and education in new perspectives in
life.
* * *
One learns to become aware of a reality most people doubt: one's
absolute freedom as a human being.
And once one recognizes and accepts one's
freedom as well as the ever-changing realities of
one's life, one learns in each therapy session, to deal calmly and positively with destructive and
seemingly hopeless assumptions, thoughts, feelings, and situations.
* * *
One learns how to become practical; how to figure out the
ways to become committed to one's positive values and goals.
Self-defeating life styles
and habits one has learned are gradually unlearned. Self enhancing
habits, life styles and values that have not been learned are gradually
learned.
Natural psychotherapy then becomes an opportunity for greater awareness and better integration of the complexities and multiplicities of
one's true self.
One learns how to be more aware of and how to be more
in harmony with one's inner nature, values and aspirations, as well as with the
realities of the natural world.
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11.
The Role Dialogue in Natural
Psychotherapy
Natural psychotherapy is done not by means of pre-conceived
"treatment plans" or "protocols," but through a
radically honest exploration of one's present reality, and a creative,
thoroughly collaborative search for constructive solutions.
The focus is always on choosing constructive self-transformation
and to
find, develop, and use her or his unique ways to solve problems in terms of
one's interrelations with others and one's situation. Such a focus
is what helps feelings of self-sufficiency and self-confidence to develop and
grow.
If the problems underlying one's symptoms are
not resolved and continue to operate as destructive and hidden agendas, they
block the universal and powerful desires all human beings have: the
desires for freedom, independence, intimacy, social connectedness, sexual
fulfillment and the closeness and meaningfulness of love.
And if the destructive habits
and relations that block these desires are not removed, the results are further
psychological and physiological upheaval and emotional distress: anger,
depression, anxiety, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, panic, somatic
disorders, etc.
12.
Why Resolution of Underlying Problems is
Important
Natural psychotherapy recognizes that
self-transformation is not easy.
Becoming aware of one's mistakes of the past
and of the uncertainties of the future often results in the arousal of
confusion and powerful (though, in fact, always temporary) feelings of fear,
shame, regret, sadness,
anger and rage.
These feelings are not only inevitable for some, but are,
in fact, indications that one is in the midst of a transitional state that
often can be stormy and emotionally painful. This is so, because it is often
so difficult to be honest with oneself, and to face unpleasant truths about
oneself or one's situation. It is also difficult to become aware that one,
or those with whom one interacts, may
have unconscious, hidden, often very dangerous agendas of destruction and
defeat.
It is hard to change entrenched agendas, but gradually becomes very
gratifying to make positive changes in one's basic philosophy of life, one's
style of relating to others and the world, and one's habitualized reactions to
life's vicissitudes and challenges. That is why choosing to consistently
avoid regret, blame and guilt always brings such relief and gives such
a sense of feeling freer and stronger during the process of natural psychotherapy.
Avoiding regret, blame and guilt is like a
rebirth to a new life of inner relief and inner new kind of life free of old
destructive habit patterns.
Once such initial relief is attained to a
degree, you always gain more relief as you learn to clarify your goals in
life.
You then gradually learns how to let go of those habit patterns that interfere with the process of natural psychotherapy and the
process of life: withdrawal, pervasive fault finding,
self-deceptiveness and deception of others, impulsive behavior, habits of over-emotional
blame, rage
and temper tantrums, and addictions to hopelessness and despair.
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13.
A Simplifying, Healthy, Global Approach
In natural psychotherapy the approach always
includes simplifying one's life style.
This is an area where the natural therapist can
be of the greatest help since Western Culture involves the kind of material
and non-material acquisitiveness, social relations and "success" orientation
that complicates everyone's' life, that distracts and diverts.
Without a focus on a return to one's natural
and true goals everyone can be most easily diverted from following one's
true nature. This happens especially as a result of the deeply entrenched
false belief many have, that what comes naturally requires curbs and
controls.
So how does one simplify one's life and
flourish?
Throughout natural psychotherapy one learns, over time, how to
how to guide and nurture one's spiritual life, how to see
events realistically and in perspective. One learns how to establish priorities for
oneself in terms of one's utter uniqueness.
As one establishes priorities, one gradually
acquires the skill not to be distracted or diverted from one's unique and
significant goals and values. That is difficult for most.
Since it takes
time and much effort, it also is often a point at which one may be tempted to quit (or
"take a break from") the
therapeutic process.
It is also a point at which one may wish to plunge into the
use of alcohol, or the much touted street and prescription drugs.
The desire
to escape from the rebirth of one's true inner spirit into destructive distractions needs
to be explored and understood in terms of the conflicts and motives behind it.
Only with greater self-understanding can one let go of such obfuscating and complicating barriers to the
simplification of one's inner life and outer behavior.
Simplifying one's life, also involves the development of emotionally honest and gratifying ties with loved
ones and friends. One needs others who are not destructive - either due
to their ignorance, malice or stupidity.
Everyone needs to learn how to avoid and not
become upset by toxic people (especially if we are close to them) who
find fault, berate, complain and infect with "bad vibes."
As one continues in one's therapy one becomes
more aware of the fact that all human beings need others who are generally
positive, caring, supportive - who desire and know how to encourage one's
quest for a more significant and happier life.
Simplification of one's life also means doing
all one can to avoid bad health, illness and spiritual emptiness. It therefore also always includes healthy,
balanced organic foods, adequate daily physical exercise, and
adequate sleep and rest.
Relaxation and self-hypnosis techniques
that can help one start these processes are used consistently for those who want to use
them. And
as most of us know, to maintain such healthful patterns involves skills that most
people need to acquire, and that indeed are acquired as part of every
successful, comprehensive natural therapy process.
And further, simplifying one's life also means becoming aware of what is toxic in
one's physical environment
(e.g. pesticides, radiation, food additives, hormone and chemical additives,
toxic cleaning materials, toxic air quality, etc., etc.) and then carefully
planning how to avoid such dangers as much as possible.
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14.
The Core Conflict: basic aspects
Throughout the process of natural
psychotherapy, especially in analyzing and examining one's emotional interactions with the natural
therapist, one also learns how to resolve
one's Core Conflict.
The very common Core Conflict
generally is a conflict between desire for dependence and passivity on the one hand, and for independence, self expression, and
actualization of one's self and one's personal goals on the other. This
conflict is intense and not yet resolved for most people who suffer psychological pain or turmoil.
The resistance to give up the (often
life-long) search for someone who can be totally depended on, a situation
in which one behaves as a dependent "taken-care-of-child," is probably
universal for those who were never truly loved and well cared for as infants
and children.
If a parent or both parents were verbally or
physically punitive or oppressive during one's infancy, childhood,
adolescence, or young adulthood, one is not only unconsciously prone to
self-destructive behavior and feelings of mistrust helplessness and
hopelessness, but of something additional that is equally damaging.
One may also feel driven toward an unconscious,
compulsive pattern of seeking out, and having powerful emotional attachment to
those who are as unloving and destructive as the parents were.
Many seek to repeat what is
familiar and what has in the past characterized one's core ways of relating,
even though it may be self-destructive in the present.
And often those who are
loving and caring, authentic, genuine and of good will, are assiduously avoided
and pervasively found fault with.
Others see oppression or inhibition in
situations where it doesn't actually exist: they may unconsciously project the
pattern of inhibition or self-oppression they learned in their childhoods unto
others in the present and feel, like a rebellious but not self-actualizing adolescent:
"I want to do it on my own."
By focusing on reality and examining these
feelings, most people in natural therapy can finally get to understand the
nature of their Core Conflict.
By truly collaborating in straightforward
dialogue with the natural therapist, all people always find out why the
impulse to leave therapy seem so urgent at some points. They get to understand
what is behind their "rush into impulsive pseudo-independence."
But until they
understand their fears and their desires to "act on their fears," they
may urgently desire to abandon the therapy process.
Yet if they stick it through, they do
start to discover and practice self-actualization without distraction
and diversion, and start to experience the deep satisfactions this brings.
Until natural capacities for rebirth, self-actualization
and individuation are gradually developed or restored, many individuals compulsively repeat the
Core Interactions and accompanying emotions learned in the past.
They are
repeatedly tempted to ignore their true feelings and spiritual values, to act unilaterally, impulsively and without
mutual frank
discussion and mutual self-examination. They often lack patience, and find it
too fear-arousing to reach decisions
jointly through continuing dialogue, as all true collaboration requires.
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15. Understanding Deception:
Closely related to the resolution of one's Core
Conflict is the growth of understanding the role deception played in one's
life.
Natural therapy can help each person understand the origins and the consequences of
various patterns of
deception: self-deception, deception of others, and deception by others. Such
interpersonal patterns
need to be examined since they have generally become entrenched in the
interactions of most individuals whose lives are beset by psychological pain
and disorder.
16.
Natural Psychotherapy as a Gentle, Gradual
Process
The natural therapist, by being gentle,
kind, patient, open and completely truthful can be instrumental in helping
each person become aware of the constructive as well as of the automatic and
by now, habitual self-destructive ways of living that she or he has learned
over the years.
Natural psychotherapy is thus a gradual,
collaborative, often stumbling and difficult search for the worthwhile and
happier life.
The length of the therapeutic process depends
on the strength of one's desire to be totally honest with oneself. This
generally requires the willingness to overcome resistance to experience
negative, frightening, or unusual thoughts and feelings, to face painful truths, and to start constructive
change.
Also important is the degree of sabotaging or
supportive
behavior of family and friends and the system of constructive or destructive
beliefs prevalent in one's background and culture.
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17.
Important
self-Discoveries
Even though it is difficult, each person
gradually learns how to be constructively active, rather than destructively
passive: how to make and keep on making realistic choices calmly and with
careful planning.
Interestingly, even amidst unfair, unjust and oppressive
cultural, societal, or family circumstances, persons engaged in natural psychotherapy discover their
resilience, their previously hidden vast energies available for real changes
and resulting in exhilarating spiritual and emotional rebirths. They gradually choose to become assertive, morally responsible,
loving and productive human beings.
Those in natural psychotherapy discover, slowly
but surely, a sense of new-found energy, of creative mastery over the
difficulties, disasters, cruelties, injustice and horrors most human beings
encounter.
Those in natural therapy learn how to stop
focusing on, and how to let go of, their emotional (and too often, very
severe) suffering of the past. They learn to use the complexity and richness
of current reality to achieve constructive change and spiritual rebirth.
And then, as they learn to distract
themselves from their past suffering, they discover and rediscover, over and over
again, that an authentic, independent, assertive, loving, caring, and productive
life in the present -
though not easy to maintain - is a worthwhile choice.
Such a choice brings joy, love, creativity,
spiritual fulfillment, and short term as well as long term, satisfaction. It
makes life, with all its suffering, bearable and helps one develop a much
better and more worthwhile way of life.
18. Practical,
SPIRITUAL AND HUMANISTIC AIMS and realizations:
Once a person has discovered how to remove
crippling regret, anger, fear, passivity, and imbalance from most areas of life, she
or he is ready to pursue the humanistic, spiritual, practical aims of natural
psychotherapy: the acceptance and active development of one's utter uniqueness, freedom,
and natural strengths as a human being - the strengths to make better -
the world and oneself.
One realizes that the work is much, and the time
short.
And one also realizes that the results of the
work are truly worthwhile - the natural highs of natural well-being!
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